We’ve all had those days. Too little sleep, too many responsibilities, unexpected
disappointments, difficult news, and people who seem to need just one more
thing from us when we have absolutely nothing left to give. And then it
happens. We lose our patience. We say something we regret. And we justify
ourselves with those familiar words: “You have no idea what kind of day I’ve
had!” But does our suffering give us permission to make someone else suffer? In
this week’s Breakfast & a Class, we explore a remarkable teaching from Rabbeinu Yonah, Rav Dessler, and Rabbi Yissocher Frand: Why do some of our greatest sages consider Avraham Avinu’s struggle to purchase a burial place for Sarah an even greater test than the Akeidah? What could negotiating with Efron possibly teach us about the true meaning of spiritual greatness? 

This class became deeply personal when I shared an experience from just last week—a day when, after teaching Torah, attending meetings, receiving difficult news, and carrying more than I realized, I finally reached my breaking point. The
response from those attending was extraordinary. So many came over afterward to tell me that they saw themselves in the story. Perhaps because we all carry
burdens that others cannot see, and we all struggle at times to keep those
burdens from spilling over onto the people around us. Drawing upon the
teachings of my own rabbi, Rabbi Abittan, who studied under Rav Dessler at
Ponevezh, we discover that self-control is not simply about controlling our
anger. It is also about recognizing our limits, understanding the struggles of
others, and remembering that we rarely know what another person is carrying. A person’s greatness is not measured only by how much suffering he can endure, but by how little of that suffering he passes on to others. A very human
lesson from Avraham Avinu, and one that may change the way we treat the people closest to us.